Spirituality vs. Religion;
What’s The Difference?
Have you ever really thought about that? I never gave it any thought at all until I came in to sobriety. A friend in recovery said to me, “You need a personal relationship with God!” I thought to myself and said to them, “I already do!” I felt offended by the insinuation that that somehow “I” was lacking in that area. I mean after all, I had grown up in the church, I had always believed in God and I had experienced Him in a very profound and personal way a short time before this conversation had taken place. Then my friend said something that jarred me to the core. He said, “If you had the type of relationship you think you have, you would have never relapsed.” He went on to say, “Rebecca, you have got to develop a level of intimacy with God that you had with the bottle.” WOW!!!
Well as with everything, as time went on, I came to understand this statement to truly have depth and merit. You see, I had a very deep level of intimacy with my drug of choice, (DOC). I mean, my dope knew everything about me. It knew every success, every failure, every joy, every sorrow, every fear and every private detail of my life! There was absolutely nothing that my DOC didn’t know. There was no aspect of my life that my DOC wasn’t a part of. I new how to rely on it, because of the successful experiences I had with it. When it came to God, I didn’t really understand how to do that. All I had really understood at that point was to pray and that was pretty much it.
I learned that what I really had was religion, a belief in God and a love for God. But what I did not have was a “personal relationship” with God to the level that I would have, say, with a best friend. What do I mean? Well, how does a person go from being an acquaintance to a true friend? It happens through a process of giving and receiving; by trusting them with something and seeing that they have your back. By them finding out the “not so pretty things about you” and seeing that they love and accept you just the same. By screwing up with them and seeing that they will forgive you and still be there. It takes time and experience for that type of relationship to develop. Why would it be any different with God? I mean after all, He created me to be that way. Otherwise I would just go around blindly trusting every “Tom, Dick and Harry” that came along, probably getting hurt and ripped off daily! (No offence to Tom, Dick or Harry!) No, God gave me the ability to observe, weigh and measure, so as to make wise decisions and take healthy actions.
So how do you develop this type of relationship with a God that you can’t physically see or hear? “That’s what I wanted to know!”
Two things were explained to me:
a) Religion is man’s “collective concept” of God. That’s why there are so many. Even within each particular religion there is a breakdown, from the most liberal concepts to the most extreme. People have a need to be able to spend time with those who share similar concepts and beliefs.
b) Spirituality on the other hand, is man’s “personal relationship” with God, which can only come about through one’s own personal experiences.
Now, can someone have religion and not have spirituality? (They are always a fun bunch of people to be around!<~(sarcasm intended!) Of course! Can someone have spirituality and not be involved in a particular religion? Absolutely! This is supported in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, when it says that, “We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.” It goes on to say, “Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another’s conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to affect a contact with Him.”
So, there you have it. I found that “I” didn’t have to figure out God. “I” didn’t have to figure out how to develop a relationship with God. All “I” had to do was be willing to practice some spiritual principles. My friend to me, “if you will simply work the 12-steps, this process will come about on its own!” This turned out to be true as well. The steps enable me to go through the process with God that I did with my best friend. Take a risk, get results, (i.e. – work the steps). After all, it is not until step 12 that the spiritual awakening is referred to in the “past tense.” It says, “having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.”
I am responsible for being willing, honest and open minded. I am responsible to take the action of working the steps. My Creator on the other hand, is responsible for all the rest. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be easy to somehow take the credit for my life and sobriety, leading to the very sense of false pride, arrogance and self centeredness that got me into trouble to begin with?
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